Cross the road, move on!!

Cancer is an episode that changes the entire perception of life and relationships. Right from the day it is detected, every single day becomes an experience in itself. Rather every day was an experience even before it stepped in your life, it is just that your sensitivity levels are different now.

I cannot say that I do not know why I am writing about this for I know. I say that I have ‘moved on’ and ‘left cancer behind’ but yes, there are days when my thoughts may not be at their best. On such days I tell myself ‘moving on’ is not about forgetting but about accepting and continue being happy.

Let me share an experience –

While I was going through my chemo and a long time after that crossing the road was something that required a whole lot of effort from me. Yes! a normal Effortand an everyday activity like crossing the road seemed like a gargantuan task to me. My heart would race and a sense of panic would overtake me. Physical strength and mental agility both seemed to be in much in demand. It was as if I had tonnes of weight around my ankles. It was too much of work – Calculating the speed of the vehicles, the distance to be covered, my own speed and if I’ll be able to lift my feet to step on the pavement?

Initially I blamed it on the traffic of my city (Ludhiana) but realized that the same feeling was present while crossing the road in Chandigarh as well and was even there when we visited Melbourne towards the end of 2012. I remember holding Tarun’s (my husband’s) hand while crossing the road. My clinging on to him would be a better way of describing how I undertook the task. If I had to cross the road on my own, I would be on the lookout for other people wanting to do so, so that I could just merge in with them.

I often asked myself if this was normal, and if I’ll be able to cross the road ever on my own again!

Sponsored Links

How and when things my road crossing got normal, I do not specifically remember but YES long back I was able undertake the task effortlessly once again. A feeling of panic does not overcome me any longer today.

When I think of the entire experience, I realize I have come a long way…………..once again life is normal and I smile. I am walking on the road and even running to cross it like a child. I’m done with those days!

Confession Time

It’s time for some confessions-

  • I still cling on to Tarun while crossing the road for reasons other than those mentioned above J.
  • Having put down my experience and thoughts on the same makes me feel lighter and better.
  • Would love a system of traffic in the country that takes into consideration elderly and the sick.
  • I even know this that come what may, I will fight my battles bravely. Irrespective of my positive attitude and love for life, I just don’t want to feel the same again.Walk


  • meetunayyar-photo
  • meetunayyar
  • A lawyer by profession, social worker and a fighter against cancer